I am Disabled. You are Disabled. We are all Disabled.

There, I said it.  It's a bold statement and I know it is so before the battle cries begin please hear me out.

I am disabled because I do not have one shred of artistic talent.  I can see art.  I can appreciate art.  I want to create art.   But I can't.  There is a disconnect between the visions in my head and my hands that have to do the  creating.  This disability causes me difficulty when I am asked to draw a picture.  Even now, I revert to stick men and very little detail.  In elementary school we were asked to draw a picture of our favourite season.  I drew autumn because I had perfected drawing a tree and bare branches.  This disability can paralyze me.  It took me almost a month of hemming and hawing to get this website started because I couldn't imagine an original design and then actually produce it.  I am disabled.  In my disability, I have been able to show strength as I have approached the challenges.  I chose to become a teacher where I could use my artistic skills minimally.  When I need to create a bulletin board or prepare an art lesson, I have learned to ask for and accept help.  Asking for and accepting help are hard things to do and they are humbling.  In my disability, I have learned coping skills to help me minimize my weakness and maximize my strengths.  

I need to stop here and address something before I continue.  In no way does my lack of artistic talents compare to the very real and frustrating challenges faced by a person with autism, Down's Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy or any other recognized disability.  I know the challenges my "disability" present me with are incomparable to the the challenges of these other disabilities.  Please do keep reading to hear my point. 

Sticker Charts that Stick

I was losing it.  Little things were exploding into big things.  My sleep deprived brain was taking away the patience I desperately needed.  I needed to take control of the situation rather than constantly react.  My brain went into teacher mode and as I ran through the strategies I settled on the sticker chart.  Now it was time to put theory into practice.

First Encounters

There are definitely moments I am not proud of when I reflect upon my life.  Yet even in those experiences I have been shaped to become who I am today.  One of these moments happened the first time I encountered disability.

During my summer days as a teenager one of my tasks was to watch my sister.  This included taking care of her general well being (meals and safety) and helping her with her summer review work.  I loathed helping my sister with her summer review work.  I saw my sister as slow and someone who could never do anything just right.  After giving my sister her summer review work this was the usual scenario in our house.  I would go back to the couch to continue my TV watching while my sister worked on her assigned math pages.  I would look up every now and then to see how she was doing.  Since she wasn’t complaining and her pencil was moving I wouldn’t see any reason to get up to see how she was doing.  I figured if she needed help she would ask for it.  When my sister was finished, I would take the workbook and begin marking it with my red pen.  The more I marked, the higher I would feel my blood pressure go.  Despite having worked on multiplication repeatedly, she would be still getting every single question wrong.  My “X”s would be written with more force and become larger on the page with each question.  Finally about half way through, I would start ranting and belittling my sister.  My sister would stare and eventually I would just walk away.