Happy 21st Birthday! Now What?

There are few words in our language that will automatically solicit a smile from the majority of people.  Birthdays are memorable and joyous occassions full of celebration with loved ones.  It is a day to honour the past, enjoy the present and dream about the future.  Birthdays help mark significant milestones.  The first birthday celebrates the successful survival of the parents who have managed multiple night wakings, endless feedings, first smiles and first steps.  The fifth birthday sees a toddler becoming a young boy or girl with growing independence especially as they get ready to head off to school.  The 21st birthday is another milestone.  For the parents of a special needs child, this milestone contains much joy but it also brings to the forefront questions about the future.  At 21, the public education of the special needs child is finished.  Thus, the following questions arise.  What will my special needs child do with their time now that their schooling is finished?  Will my special needs child be able to find a job?  Will my special needs child be able to live on his or her own?  What kinds of resources, public or private, are available for  my special needs chid?

Hopefully, as a special needs parent, these questions are not being asked for the first time at the 21st birthday.  Like all special needs programs, public or private, there are long waiting lists and one wants to be sure find the best fit for their child.  Moreover, it is important to dream of the possibilities when your child is younger so your child can work towards the dream.  So as a special needs parent what do I need to know about the services offered after 21 years of age and what should I consider as I begin planning?

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Every new school year brings new expectations of and hopes for new achievements.  My oldest started kindergarten this year and by the end of the year I am expecting him to have an excellent grasp of the letters of the alphabet and the sounds they make.  I also expect him to be able to write, identify and count his numbers up to at least 20.  These are reasonable expectations for his developemental level.  By the end of the year, I hope he will be reading.  My hope is a possibility but it is not for certain.

Expectations and hopes for schooling change when you have a special needs child.  You can't expect the same achievements in the same timeline.  It is more difficult to hope because your hope often remains just that.  Allowing yourself to compare your special needs child with neurotypical peers is not a fruitful exercise.  A seeming lack of progress can cause you to miss the achievements that are there.  At times, it seems like moving one step forward only results in two steps backwards in another area.  

Today's piece is written for the parent of a special needs child in need of encouragement.